My Downfall

They say life has its ups and downs, but I wasn't expecting to be "down" so soon. It's been four years and I can't figure out what am I doing in life. I wish I can be motivated. I wish I could figure out what to do in life.

This is my downfall. Out of all the things, I've been scared might happen, it happened. My life keeps on being torn apart on and on, it's like a never-ending cycle. I can't achieve anything, nor prosper in something. I've tried being a good person, I tried to change, but nothing seems to be great.

I don't want to go back. I don't want to sit and do nothing.

I've promised people, I've promised myself a better future, but none of that seems to be happening.

I regret dating while young. I regret falling in love. I regret having someone to lean on.

I regret all of it.

Lied to my friends, they didn't know I was faking.

I do have the pills, but I'm too scared to take them.

I can't tell my mama, it makes her worry.

I'm not suicidal, sometimes the lines get all blurry.

I know how it feels to drown in a river of tears.

If depression gets the best of me, know that I tried.

I'm sorry I couldn't be the person we thought I'd be.

I wish I could SCREAM the anger out of me!