To My Older Self

Dear self

I wish I would have done something better to make you proud. I'm sorry, the world got its hands on me. I'm not okay, God knows how much I'm trying. I am alive, but it's been years since I lived. I'm proud I didn't reset the character even if I was tempted to. I am the character.

Probably by 25 you would have the courage and have fixed all your worries. Perhaps by then you would have grown and become a better version, matured and able to provide for yourself. Probably by 28 you would have achieved the goals you had.

I wish you all the best. You'll be okay, maybe not today nor tomorrow, but you will. Everything is gonna be okay. Focus on yourself and healing. I know we've cried so many tears and that's okay. Just promise me you'll go back to school, fix your career, do something you enjoy, and you'll never reset the character, (that's never a solution). "Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it'll be this hard."