I Am Not Looking For Love Anymore.

I don't want to look for love anymore. I don't want to go to places searching for someone who can send butterflies to my stomach. Although I admit there are days I feel envious towards those who have found their one shot in a lifetime, when I think about it, I still am not prepared. There's a part of me that is still scared of love itself. There is still a part of me that is not yet ready to take risks. I miss the feeling of being in love but to be in love kind of sounds terrifying. I do want the feeling of having someone to hold hands with but to let it go someday, it's just scary.

For now, I want to be prepared. I want to be stable enough to commit my time and affection to someone. I want to know myself more before getting to know someone else. I want to have my happiness that no one can steal, not even my future partner. For now, I just miss the feeling of having someone special by your side, that's just it. I just miss it.

I don't want to rush love. Though I am getting impatient, I don't want to rush things when they are already meant to come. As for now, I'm preparing myself-- mentally, emotionally, and socially. And for the next one that would come, I want it to be sure, pure, honest, and consistent. That's the kind of love that I'd want to have next.

Cred: There is sadness in your eyes.